i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
