Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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