just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
