My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
