just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
