Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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