I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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