I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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