i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
