That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If that was your dad, he is hot
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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