:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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