we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
