I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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