Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
