btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize