I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize