Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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