I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why are your pants in the freezer?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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