yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
this is an emotional support booty call
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize