yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
