I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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