there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
