morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
