I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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