i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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