exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize