They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
