I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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