sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
