I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
