just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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