i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
