wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
