so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize