Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
