So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
false alarm, still single
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