So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize