I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
