So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
