I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
