exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Im part way to drunk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
