we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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