So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just google imaged poop.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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