Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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