The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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