Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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