I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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