imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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