I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
