why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i now understand why vodka
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize