Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I had to cum in my sink.
Two words: nipple clamps
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