her vagine was all disorganized.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
