I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
