I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
PANTIES FOUND
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