just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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