I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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