omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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